


Beware of Darkness

by ThatwasJustaDream



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Community: 1_million_words, First Time, M/M, Season/Series 09, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-15 21:41:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1320178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatwasJustaDream/pseuds/ThatwasJustaDream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean closes his eyes after putting the headphones on in the bunker- and wakes up to Castiel watching over him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beware of Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a challenge on the 1_million_words comm, the challenge being the word "Beware". It made me think of an old song, the lyrics of which I wove into this. It also seemed to fit perfectly with what Dean's about to go through with the Mark of Cain.

“Holy freaking…. _Jeez_ , Cas…”

Dean had fallen asleep with the headphones on. He tugged them off, blinking and rubbing at his sleep-tightened eyelids. 

He hadn’t meant to leave both nightstand lights on. They were fine when he settled in, but way too bright now. He hit the switch on the one closest to him and settled into the semi-darkness. 

“Hello, Dean.”

Normally he’d bitch him out over watching him sleep for the thousandth time but …it had been a while. He wondered if Castiel knew how good it felt, seeing him standing there looking dour as ever?

“Anything wrong, buddy? You need my help, or something?”

He watched the way Cas’ lips quirked up slightly as he translated that in his head.

_Why are you here?_

“It is _so_ inconvenient,” Cas paused, and Dean was afraid for a second that he was gonna get all cryptic on him “…being able to read you; to feel where you _are_ , physically, mentally… even when you haven’t called for me. When you don’t really want me here.”

“Hold on - don’t you dare turn all that’s been happening into something bigger, okay?”

He sat up, got more of the pillows behind his back. Cas took it as an invitation to sit near him on the empty side of the bed-- whether it had been meant as an invite or not. 

“With Sammy in the state he’s in, I’ve got _no_ room left for relationship mind-games. You know? I just… need to _not_ drag you in on my crap yet again. That’s all. And if you really _can_ …read me, Cas, then you know it’s why I haven’t been reaching out to you.”

Cas completely ignored the underlying suggestion he’d maybe been a drama queen for a moment there.

He had kicked his shoes off and flipped off the coat before getting on the bed – something he never would have bothered with before he was human. It was notable, too, how he sat casually next to him, kind of facing him, legs in a loose half-lotus instead of all stiff and formal.

What was Cas these days? Two thirds angel? Half human? Did he even know, himself?

He didn’t say anything back, just took Dean’s arm and started purposefully rolling up his shirt sleeve. Dean wanted to object, to pull it away but Castiel wasn’t asking. He pushed the fabric past the elbow and traced the mark on his forearm with one finger – like he was appraising a famous piece of art he’d seen before, but never up close like this.

“Was he very… withered when you met him? Twisted? Black-hearted?”

“Cain?” Dean looked between Cas’ face and where Cas was still touching him. “No. He seemed ... robust. Gruff. Kinda dark, but not unkind.”

“I would expect him to be a monster; a shadow of himself by now. He must have found love. It would have tempered him.”

“Yeah, ‘cause _that_ shit… it cures everything, don’t it?” Dean bit the words out, then wanted to bite his own tongue at the wince it earned him.

“You feel it...” Castiel said, setting his arm down. “An anger inside that’s…different? A hardness in your spirit, like everything is black and white now. No greys no…”

No greys? How about no color. A world that had gone … flat. Drained of…what? Pleasure. Ease. Every day a soda with no fizz.

Yes he’d felt it. He didn’t have to say so to confirm it, apparently, ‘cause Cas got in his face a little, now.

“Beware. The thoughts this …thing will cause you – they can wind around your brain, your heart. Your soul. At first it will be worst at night; a feeling of hopelessness. A pain you can’t pinpoint in any single part of you.”

“It’s what I had to do.” 

Sometimes he knew what Cas was feeling too. That spiel? It was a warning, yeah, but it was also a ‘why?’ 

_Why would you do this? To yourself? To those of us who care about you?_

“This?” Castiel traced it once more and then let Dean’s arm drop. “It’s not what you’re here for. On this planet. Not what any of us is here for – to take on this much….sorrow. To carry it with us that way. And you know it.”

‘I’ve made a mistake.’ Dean had thought it more than once since that day. Now he was getting told. 

Cas’ head tilted suddenly, eyes narrowing. 

He squeezed Dean’s shoulder, and moved like he planned to stand up again and Dean’s heart fell. It hit him that Cas had just read his feelings one time too many. He felt it; how Dean wished he’d never come to check on him, to see him in this state. 

He could tell from the slump of Cas' shoulders; a look on his face he hadn’t seen since he'd been groveling, apologizing over the incident with the angel tablet - like he was very close to tears. 

“Hey,” He barked it, got a hand on him at the last second, pulling him back. “You do not get to drop in and spew out a few vague, scary warnings then take off on me again. Do not. Take off. Yet.”

“You don’t… don’t have to…pretend that you…”

“Yeah. I know. I don’t _have_ to do anything. Come on. Come tell me how things are going for you?”

“I’m… okay. I…uh… have some … new followers,” His expression lightened, eyes going over Dean’s face fast again and again as he talked, like he was gauging every second whether he should keep going or not. “Angels who have joined me. Unbidden. They say they’ll help if they can; to try to unlock Heaven. Put things right…”

“That’s good news, man. Maybe you can catch Metratron, put his ass in the Holy Lockup. Get your seat at the table back, you know? Maybe even…”

Dean had more thoughts on the matter but suddenly Cas was leaning in. Was cradling the back of his head with one hand with a desperate look on his face.

Was kissing him. 

No warning. Just a press of warm lips, then a tongue darting to lick Dean’s lower lip and make their connection warmer, softer before he went in deeper and…. wow, the guy knew his way around a mouth; very strong and firm with the suck and the strokes - hungry but not sloppy. Muscular. So not like kissing a girl or a woman. More like being taken than taking.

“What are you…” Dean meant to pull away, to stop him, but it felt too good so he didn’t - breathed out the words between kisses back instead. “Castiel…what the hell….are….”

“Do _you_ know if either of us will survive what’s coming? Because I do not.”

It was a damn good question. The answer being no.

“Are angels s’posed to… fuck around with… people who’ve got demon marks on ‘em?” 

“This isn’t merely about copulating,” Cas said it dismissively, but he was grabbing and tossing away the pillows behind him, urging Dean down, pulling in toward him to find how their bodies best aligned. “It’s about that thing you don’t believe in. That you don’t believe…cures anything.”

“You’re gonna kiss away the darkness? Inoculate me from despair?” 

They were still fully dressed, but Cas was so warm against him that Dean couldn’t help imagining what it would be like once they were skin to skin. Castiel was also already tangibly… _excited_ about what was to come as he got hands under Dean’s shirts. 

Dean felt key parts of him starting to respond, too, got an arm around Cas’ hip as Cas started dry humping him.

“Please don’t be glib. Don’t joke…” Cas tugged at his overshirt as if to say ‘help me, here’ then pushed his tee up as Dean worked to shuck them both and toss them on the floor. “I have wanted this for a very long time.”

“Since before you were human?”

“Since before …”

Cas never finished the sentence, but it hit Dean like a brick - how different he was from his ass-butt brethren, how much more uncertain and alone and ….. he probably meant forever. 

Like, since five thousand years before Dean had ever been born.

“I don’t deserve it…” Cas had pulled apart Dean’s pants while the thoughts washed over him; was kissing down his abdomen, over his hips, helping him kick them off his ankles. “…don’t deserve this from anybody. Let alone…”

“Shut up,” Cas gritted the words out. “Really. Shut up. Or I swear… I will smite you.”

Dean hadn’t laughed and then come so close together in…. ever. Cas’ mouth and tongue on him were mind-blowingly right. And then the way he opened up for him - just enough, not a millimeter too much or too little- when Dean took him made his heart race, made fucking into him a tight, hot challenge for them both. 

He remembered Cas’ low, soft groans and sighs, how they built and got more random. Mindless. And the sounds he made when he came? Like Cas had no preparation for what that was gonna be about.

Then again, he probably didn’t have any _real_ idea; how different it was when it wasn't just screwing. 

Book learning versus experience. Experience - always so much better.

~*~

“Did you drug me?”

He knew that’s what he meant to- had tried to say. He had a feeling it had come out of his mouth a crap ton more blurry, though.

“No, I did not.” Cas was half under him, holding him. Entirely in charge, apparently. “I simply … uhm…enhanced some chemicals your body makes after intercourse that naturally encourage…the sleepies.”

“You drugged _me_ with _me_ …” he swore he heard Cas laugh at that, his short, rumbly laugh, felt lips sweeping across his jawline, over his cheek and then his softly closing eyelids.

_“Beregida….”_

Castiel murmuring Enochian in his ear, sounding like someone else entirely with the rolling ‘r’s’ and the elongated vowels. 

_“Ol aziaxor. Ol pay-eed bolape erm elasa a congamphlgh..”_

Sleep. You need it. I love you. I will be with you in spirit….

~*~

The next time he woke, he knew he was alone before he moved or opened an eye.

He wanted to be sad. Angry. Annoyed with him.

But there was, Dean had to admit, more blue in the sky today; a little more color - in absolutely everything. For now, at least….


End file.
